PREFACE:
We are often confronted with the voice in our head that is asking us “who do you think you are?” That is an age old question that elicits a variety of answers that range from a no response to detailed self analyses. At the core of our individual responses to the question is how we view ourselves. Based on hundreds of Talent Insight Profiles I realize that many Americans are very hard on themselves. By this I mean that when we review our own actions we tend to be sterner critics than most other people would be. No matter what we tell others, no matter how often we try to deflect the blame, the truth is that deep down inside, most of us place the blame for every failure on our own backs and the credit for our successes squarely on the backs of others.
It is part of our ethos as Americans to take the blame and give the credit. I have found that many people who seem to always express that others are to blame for their failures actually, in their own minds, blame themselves. The problem with that approach is that so much effort goes into creating the façade of blamelessness that the individual acquires no significant learning from the experience whereas those who fully and rightfully accept blame when the blame is due have a real opportunity for learning. However, those who accept the blame when it was not really their fault also inhibit learning for the team and organization.
Having a realistic view of oneself is the best way to help a team. Taking one for the team is actually a very bad idea. It inhibits learning, course correction, and ultimately the success of the team. Finding out what truly went wrong is essential to corrective actions for the future. So why do people either deflect blame or take one for the team when it’s not in the real best interest of the team. That stems from another organizational error that is all too commonly made. That is the error of vilifying failures. When we really examine the most successful people in our history we see people who used failure as a tool for success. They were not afraid of failure. They didn’t like failure but they didn’t look at it as the enemy.
Whenever we punish people who have worked very hard, been very diligent in trying to meet the objectives, have followed all the rules and expectations, yet not achieved the desired outcome we actually create a culture of failure. When failure becomes the focus as opposed to making every activity a learning opportunity we shift the culture from a “Learning-Succeeding Culture” to a culture of failure. If you want to create a culture of success in your organization you must make failure a tool for success.
The Article:
Who We Are, What We Do, and Our Hope for Tomorrow:
Each person possesses certain values and beliefs about how to behave. We also have values and beliefs about our role in the world. And we each have a vision of the future. Some people place a high value on themselves and what they do. Others are somewhat self-effacing. The impact of each self view affects how we deal with our successes and failures. The self-effacing individual is more likely to accept the blame for failure and give credit to others for success. The opposite would be expected from the person who places a higher value on the self. Of course self-worth exists on a continuum from 100% it’s my fault to 100% it’s the fault of some other factor and most people are somewhere in between.
As a society we’ve created a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde scenario about what’s acceptable. We want people to have a strong sense of self-worth or self-esteem. Yet we also want people to behave with humility. We like the truly humble but bristle at those who demonstrate a false sense of humility and modesty. This causes frustration as we try to navigate the world of relationships. For some, the older they get the better they become at finding a balance. But making that adjustment comes at a cost. Who are you really and how would the real you behave?
Beyond how we relate to ourselves, there is our role awareness and role satisfaction. How clearly do we see where we fit into both social and professional situations? How do we feel about that role? Do we hate what we do or is it a role handed to us by heaven above and it couldn’t be better? How we view our role has a major impact on how we behave. The clearer we see our role the more confidence we have as we engage in our work. The more positive we feel about our role the more enthusiastically we’ll approach our activities. But either way, we are who we are. It’s not about making sure everyone is amazingly satisfied and crystal clear about their role. What it’s about is; “being true to who you are.” Then we can act with honesty and integrity so our role as a leader becomes a successful experience for everyone.
Finally, as we think of tomorrow and beyond, is our future clear and bright or foggy and dark? Is our future full of hope and promise or is it crowded with doubt and fear andtrepidation? How we look into the future will be affected by our level of optimism or pessimism. But, it is not about making a pessimist turn into an optimist. It’s about helping the pessimist deal with that pessimism in a way that allows for a successful leadership experience. On the other hand, just because a person is an optimist does not mean they will have an advantage in a leadership role. An optimist in the face of overwhelming odds may be susceptible to being over-run by the opposition. What it’s about is truly knowing who you are and then using that to promote the conditions that will lead to success.
SUMMATION:
As is the case with most topics in this book, there are no hard and fast rules that will work in every situation and with every person. Life is way more complicated than that. But, most who will read this already know that. The essence of this article is the fact that we look at 3 dimensions of ourselves. There are our feelings regarding our own capacity to perform at an acceptable level. There are our feelings about what we perceive our role in the world to be. And then there are our feelings about our future and how much opportunity we will find there.
This inward look will affect how we do things. How we do things will affect our success. Our level of success will reinforce either in a positive or negative way those three dimensions of our self view. To give ourselves the best chance possible for achieving success, we need to be fully aware of how we approach the world. Once again, it is not about changing how we perceive the world, as that is a difficult task. It’s about making sure that we use the knowledge we have about ourselves so that we can take advantage of what our own perspectives can contribute to any situation.
The pessimist does not have to be a downer in the system. The pessimist can simply be a reminder that Murphy’s Law could come into play. In this way, the pessimist can help any team more fully engage in “what if planning” which can then head off problems before they arise. Left to their own devices, severe optimists may totally ignore Murphy’s Law. That can be just as harmful as perseverating on it. It is truly about balance for any organization. You need to have diversity in people. If everyone is too optimistic the organization can suffer from the “Rose Colored Glasses Syndrome.” If everyone is too pessimistic, it will be a very depressing place to work.
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