Tips for Transformative Leadership: It Doesn’t Work Unless You Work it
In our last Tips for Transformative Leadership we discussed behaving your way to change. How many of you took on our challenge for the week and practiced one new behavior for the past seven days? Based on statistics, our guess is 10% or less. In fact, there were probably more of you that read through the exercise, said, “That sounds like a great idea”, then closed your email and forgot all about it until now.
No shaming intended here. This is actually pretty normal. But it does go without saying; it doesn’t work unless you work it. So before we head into another new concept, we’re going to revisit the last two Tips and combine the exercises.
Improving your empathetic listening skills through behaving or way to change.
The beauty of practicing empathetic listening skills is that we have the opportunity many, many times each and every day to hone our skill in this area. It causes us to be present, in the moment, with the person. More often than not our minds are focusing on what we need to do next or what we should have done earlier. Empathetic listening helps us focus on the here and now and improves our ability to interact with each other, our communication, and relationships.
Step One: The next time someone calls you, talks to you, or comes to you with an issue make it your goal to listen for understanding. Take a breath and pause for at least 5 seconds before responding. Take the time to make sure that you fully understand what they are trying to communicate. Listen to what they are saying and then repeat back what it is that you think you have heard. Ask them, “Is this what you’re trying to tell me”? It may take two or three, maybe even four exchanges of information before the employee says, “Yes, that’s what I’m trying to tell you”.
Step Two: If they are asking you for a solution, encourage them to share how they would solve the problem. Be sure that if you don’t agree with their solution that it isn’t because you think your idea is better just because you would do it differently. This can be a tough one. Whenever you can, let them give it a shot their way. This will empower them, they will take ownership, and they will learn how to lead themselves.